Florida Man Weekly Roundup: 117 MPH to a Buc-ee's Bathroom 61 Miles Away — August 21, 2026

Happy Friday, degenerates and dreamers. It's been another perfect week in the only state where the wildlife commutes, the excuses are works of art, and a guy from Tampa can be a world champion at an arcade game. Grab a cold one, plant yourself in the shade, and let's get into it. 🐊🌴

🚽 117 MPH Because the Buc-ee's Bathroom Was Calling (From 61 Miles Away)

Brevard County deputies clocked an Audi doing 117 in a 70 on I-95 near Cocoa on Aug. 8 — weaving lanes, tailgating, the full symphony. When the deputy asked why, 30-year-old Omar Soliman gave the most Florida answer possible: he really, really needed to use the bathroom at Buc-ee's.

Small problem. The nearest Buc-ee's was about 61 miles up the road in Daytona Beach. The Brevard County Sheriff's Office handled the roast personally on Facebook: "The bathrooms at Buc-ee's are exceptionally clean, however you should probably be a little closer than 60 miles from your restroom destination when using it as an excuse for speeding." He was booked on reckless driving and excessive speed. Bond: $500. Dignity: priceless.

Source: FOX 13 Tampa Bay

🐊 Miami Lakes Gator Takes a Stroll, Refuses to Be Rushed

Wednesday morning on Northwest 67th Avenue in Miami Lakes, a full-grown alligator decided to walk down the middle of the road like he pays property taxes there. Drivers slowed to a crawl and started filming, because of course they did.

One motorist actually backed a flatbed tow truck up to gently nudge him toward the grass. The gator did not care. He budged when he felt like budging, eventually easing off into a nearby canal on his own schedule. Absolute icon behavior. No injuries, no drama, just a reptile running late for nothing.

Source: WSVN 7News

📞 Caller ID: "Alex Boom." Guess What the Call Was About.

A Salvation Army in northwest Miami-Dade got two calls from the same number this week. The front desk worker noticed the name attached to the number came up as — and we cannot stress enough that this is real — "Alex Boom."

On the second call, put on speakerphone with a witness listening, the man allegedly said, "You know who I am, there's a live bomb in the building." Deputies evacuated, K9 units swept the place for hours, and found nothing. Investigators traced the number straight to a 63-year-old Hialeah man living with his mother, who confirmed yes, his phone is registered as "Alex Boom," and yes, he made the call. Sir. Sir. The username was the whole case.

Source: Local 10 News

🏀 Tampa Dad Sinks a Mini Basketball From 102 Feet, Beats Himself

Now the wholesome chaos. Nicholas DeMarinis of Tampa — known online as Nickybucketz — just had Guinness confirm his new world record for the longest miniature basketball shot: 102 feet, 11.76 inches. The previous record holder? Also him, at 101 feet 8.47 inches, set back in March.

The man also holds the record for most consecutive mini basketball shots (232 of them, back in September 2025) and competes nationally at Pop-A-Shot, which we now consider a legitimate professional sport. A Florida dad chasing arcade glory on ESPN is exactly the energy we come here for.

Source: UPI Odd News

🎧 Miami DJ Runs an Ultramarathon While Spinning the Whole Time

And the flex of the week: Miami artist Eddy Palermo became the first person on record to complete an ultramarathon while DJing — covering 46.7 kilometers over eight hours while continuously mixing live on Aug. 8. Guinness made it official.

"Sometimes I was deep in the pain cave and would go, 'Oh no… I have to DJ right now,'" he said. The event, under his BPMATHON banner, raised money for Friends of The Underline, a Miami nonprofit building out public space for people to get moving. Running a marathon-and-then-some while beatmatching for charity is peak Florida overachieving, and we salute it.

Source: DJ Mag

🍺 The Weekly Verdict

A man who'd drive an hour at 117 mph for a clean bathroom. A gator with better road presence than most drivers. A guy whose caller ID confessed for him. And two record-breakers who make the rest of us look lazy. Florida stays undefeated.

If you feel personally represented by any of the above, we make the merch for it — the Florida Man tee lives in our t-shirts collection, and there are hats for the sun you're definitely not putting sunscreen on for.

Check back next Friday. Florida never takes a week off, and neither do we. 🐊