Florida Man Weekly Roundup: A Buck In The Bathroom, A Fire Extinguisher Getaway, And A 400-Foot Cuban Sandwich — September 11, 2026

Happy Friday, fellow swamp enthusiasts. This week Florida gave us a buck who broke into a bathroom and then went for a swim, a Keys chase that involved a stolen fire extinguisher, a gator settling the python problem the old-fashioned way, a 400-foot Cuban sandwich, and a three-flippered sea turtle going home. We are not worthy. Let's roll.

🏺 The Buck Stops Here (In The Bathroom, Specifically)

St. Johns County deputies responded to a home and found... a full-grown whitetail buck standing in the bathroom, staring at itself over the sink like it had a big night. Body camera video shows deputies blocking off the house and — armed with nothing but their wits and a pool brush — steering the very confused animal outside. The buck's escape route? Straight into the backyard swimming pool for a quick lap before wandering back into the woods. As the sheriff's office put it: "The buck fled before deputies could issue a warning for trespassing." Peak Florida law enforcement humor. The incident happened Aug. 23; the video dropped this week.

Source: News4Jax

🧰 The Fire Extinguisher Getaway Plan (Islamorada)

A Monroe County traffic stop at Mile Marker 83 turned into one of the most committed escape attempts in recent Keys history. Deputies clocked a Dodge SUV doing 63 in a 45 on Sept. 4. Instead of pulling over, the driver — 28-year-old Brandon Lee May of East Liberty, Ohio (yes, an out-of-state Florida Man; the state's energy is contagious) — peeled into a Publix parking lot, ditched the SUV, and took off on foot. From there: tried a plumbing business, ran through a yard, grabbed a fire extinguisher, pulled the pin, hopped a fence, cut through another property, and finally launched himself into the Gulf. Deputies tased him in the water and fished him out. He faces fleeing and eluding, burglary, grand theft, resisting, and more. His passenger politely slid into the driver's seat and gave deputies a fake name, which also did not work.

Source: Keys News (Florida Keys Free Press)

🐊 Gator 1, Invasive Python 0 (Everglades)

A photographer in the Everglades caught the matchup we all root for: a monster American alligator with a massive Burmese python locked in its jaws, thrashing the invasive snake around like a wet towel before beginning to swallow it whole. Pythons have wrecked the Everglades food chain for two decades, so watching the hometown apex predator take one off the board is basically a public service announcement with teeth. Native Florida, undefeated at home.

Source: Whiskey Riff

🥪 400 Feet Of Cuban Sandwich (Palm City)

Florida doesn't do small. Chef Chuchi Rivero of Stuart's Old Havana Cafe teamed up with the nonprofit House of Hope to build a 400-foot Cuban sandwich at L. Cpl. Justin Wilson Memorial Park in Palm City on Saturday, Sept. 12 — aiming to beat the 365.9-foot mark set in Tampa in 2024. The best part: the entire sandwich gets used to feed neighbors facing food insecurity, and proceeds go to House of Hope. Spectating is free. A record attempt that ends with everybody fed is the most Florida thing on this list.

Source: CBS12 News

🐢 Hope Goes Home (Marathon)

Our wholesome closer: The Turtle Hospital in Marathon released Hope, a 150-pound loggerhead sea turtle, back into the Atlantic at Sombrero Beach at 1 p.m. today, Friday, Sept. 11. Hope was rescued in early June with an entanglement injury so severe that her front flipper had to be amputated. After months of treatment and rehab, she swam off on three flippers with a crowd of first responders and neighbors cheering her on. Three flippers, zero quit. Very on-brand for this state.

Source: Keys News

🍶 Dress For The Lifestyle

If any of this feels like your personality, we make the merch for it — the Florida Man Booking Report tee and a few hats that pair well with a pool brush and questionable decisions.

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New roundup every Friday. Stay weird, Florida — see you next week.