Florida Man Weekly Roundup: The Zombie Comic From a 'Dead Friend' & a Van vs. Cop Car — October 16, 2026

Another week, another masterclass in living life without a rulebook. Florida Man and Florida Woman showed up, clocked in, and delivered — so grab a cold one, kick off the flip-flops, and enjoy this week's finest.

🍾 72-Year-Old Rear-Ends a Cop Car, Then Tries to Hide the Bottle

Pro tip: when you've just driven your van into a stopped Miami-Dade Sheriff's Office cruiser, the deputy is going to notice. Dashcam video from Northwest Miami-Dade shows 72-year-old Pedro Gonzalez allegedly smacking right into the parked patrol car Saturday night — then, during the traffic stop that followed, tossing an alcohol container onto the floor like nobody would spot it. Deputies said he was so wobbly they skipped the field sobriety exercises for his own safety. No one was hurt, but he's facing DUI, DUI with property damage, and driving on a suspended license. Smooth moves, sir.

Source: WSVN 7News

🧟 "My Dead Friend Gave It to Me," Says Man Pawning a Zombie Comic

A first-edition, professionally graded The Walking Dead comic worth about $2,000 vanished from Defender Comics in Cape Canaveral — and turned up at a pawn shop the very same day. Brevard deputies say 63-year-old Merritt Island man John Higgins explained he got it from a "deceased friend." A zombie comic from a dead guy? Thematically, at least, it checks out. Pawn shop staff who'd known him for years ID'd him on camera, and he also had a warrant for allegedly lifting a high-dollar Pokémon card. Gotta catch 'em all, apparently.

Source: WKMG ClickOrlando

🐻 "I Don't Play With Them, and They Don't Play With Me"

Lockhart resident Orson Weste looked outside and found a huge black bear rummaging through a trash can across the street — it snagged a plastic grocery bag and strolled off like it had just finished a Publix run. "I ain't playin'," Weste said, heading straight inside. His Florida Man engineering solution: a bungee cord strapped over his own trash can lid. Simple. Effective. Peak Central Florida.

Source: WKMG ClickOrlando

🐢 Coast Guard Cuts Loose a Tangled Loggerhead

A crew from Coast Guard Station Cortez spotted a loggerhead in serious trouble about a mile offshore between Venice Inlet and Big Sarasota Pass — a crab pot line wrapped tight around its neck. They carefully untangled the 25-to-40-year-old turtle and sent it on its way. Reminder to the crabbers out there: use weighted lines that sink. 🌊

Source: WSVN 7News

🐶 Bradenton Rescue Drives Toward the Storm for 22 Dogs

As Hurricane Isaias threatened Panhandle shelters, Nate's Honor Animal Rescue in Bradenton sent a volunteer driving straight toward the danger to bring 22 dogs to safety. That's the kind of Florida spirit we love to see — now go adopt one.

Source: WFLA

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That's a wrap! Check back next Friday for more Florida Man news — he never takes a week off. 🐊